This day, I sleep the discovery after awaking, I became a street lamp, my the top of head has is one shines bright bulb, send out the light of yellow giving tangerine, for the pedestrian of come and go and car illume. My body Gao Youzhi, martial like soldier stands in roadside. Begin me very happy, but I feel duller and duller later, because I am not active. Just when I am depressed when, a plastic bottle breaks my body suddenly to go up, a pang comes over immediately, I turn the head looks, it is an adult so, I think: Adult litter can destroy an environment, it is a kind of uncivilized behavior, I must be treated treat him. Then I shine a little while, did not shine a little while. Eventually the health worker saw me, also saw the uncle of that litter at the same time. The uncle telling to be done so before the health worker walks up is incorrect, the uncle acknowledged a mistake actively also. I am extremely happy, although I am not active, but I help people silently.
这天，我睡觉醒来后发现，我变成了一盏路灯，我的头顶有是一个亮亮的灯泡，散发出橘黄色的光，为来来往往的行人和车辆照明。我的身体又高又直，像一个威武的士兵站在路边。开始我很开心，但后来我觉得越来越无聊了，因为我不能动。正当我沮丧时，一个塑料瓶突然砸我身上，一阵剧痛顿时袭来，我转头一看，原来是一个大人，我想：大人乱丢垃圾会破坏环境的，是一种不文明的行为，我得治治他。于是我一会亮，一会不亮了。终于卫生员看到了我，同时也看到了那个乱丢垃圾的叔叔。卫生员走上前告诉叔叔这样做是不对的，叔叔也主动认错了。我开心极了，虽然我不能动，但我却可以默默地帮助人们。作文 WwW.ZuOwENbA.NeT
Arrived midday, I am preparing to sleep a lie-down, suddenly grandfather of a blind goes to the side of me, he should have prepared a driveway. I think: Car so much, in case how was blind grandfather bumped to do? But I still cannot be moved again. Suddenly I thought of the job that produces in the morning, then I exert all my strength showing lamplight, the hope can draw the attention of others. See the Young Pioneer that came to several take red scarf only, they are helping blind grandfather up cautiously to cross a street together, help up at the same time still say at the same time: Grandpa “ ! You are bit slower! Grandpa ”“ ! Take care please! These ” Young Pioneers still have love really, I do a good work again today.
到了中午，我正准备睡个午觉，突然一个盲人爷爷走到我身边，他要准备过马路。我想：车这么多，万一盲人爷爷被撞了怎么办？可我又依然不能动啊。突然我想到了早上发生的事，于是我使劲闪着灯光，希望能吸引别人的注意。只见来了好几个带红领巾的少先队员，他们一起小心翼翼地扶着盲人爷爷过马路，一边扶还一边说：“爷爷！您慢点！”“爷爷！请小心！”这些少先队员还真有爱心，今天我又干一件好事。
Arrived in the evening, I am seeing ethereal tiny spot. Gust hooter sound broke silent night, I think: For certain again thief steals a thing. Thinking, a black shadow comes out from wall edge change, go to me, see this poll carries black tag only, carry a black guaze mask, hangdog, and the bag that a bosomy strike still carries on the back on the back. I think: He is thief for certain, see me how capture you. Then I am showing lamplight forcibly, thief sees the situation is bad, preparing to escape, I think: Can sacrifice only oneself. Then I shake forcibly, split suddenly below me, I continue to shake forcibly, broke eventually. I come down to be pressed on thief body.
到了晚上，我正在看天上的星星。突然一阵警笛声打破了寂静的夜晚，我想：肯定又有小偷偷东西了。正想着，一个黑影从墙边窜出来，向我走来，只见这个人头带黑帽子，带个黑口罩，鬼鬼祟祟的，而且背上还背个鼓鼓的包。我想：他肯定就是小偷，看我怎么抓住你。于是我用力闪着灯光，小偷见情况不妙，正准备逃，我想：只能牺牲一下自己了。于是我用力摇晃，突然我下面裂开了，我继续用力摇晃，终于断了。我倒下来压在了小偷身上。
Check the thief that the police captured smoothly finally, but they are not clear, why did road lantern show come down? This thing has my person to know only.
最后检查警察顺利抓住了的小偷，可他们不明白，为什么路灯会倒下来了？这件事只有我一个人知道。
Author: Tang Yu
作者：唐鱼
The adviser comments on:
导师点评：
Begin is too long, should have section appropriately, appear otherwise very Suo, have a kind of top-heavy feeling. Intermediate part, from the point of language expression, the language is very fluent and clear and coherent, and have arrangement very much, the order that uses time comes structure, respectively from morning —— —— is narrated midday in the evening, and your select material is very original, the imagination is very interesting very reality of press close to. One day, you became street lamp, or very kind-hearted very just street lamp, you use up your the greatest effort, go helping another pedestrian that passes beside you, return bravely box up thief even. The place: that should improve? Does Wen Laimu return unreal evil spirit to punish Guan of Su of bits of of Ta of Fu of eyebrow of phenolic Ω to carry Yu in all only does Fu of miserable miserable cover hat block of ⑶ of Zhui of Fu curtain small?
开头太长了，应该适当地进行分段，不然显得很啰嗦，有一种头重脚轻的感觉。中间部分，从语言表达来看，语言很流畅通顺，而且很有层次，用时间的顺序来结构，分别从早晨——中午——晚上来叙述，而且你的选材很新颖，想象很有趣又很贴近现实。有一天，你变成了路灯，还是一个很善良很正直的路灯，你尽自己的最大努力，去帮助一个又一个从你身边经过的行人，甚至还能勇敢地困住小偷。应改进之处:段落的划分还不够明确，开头应该简短，中间充实，结尾也要简短总结，抒发情感。