"For others living, also be oneself living. Hope and sadness are a light. Hope and sadness are a light..
“为别人活着，也为自己活着。希望和悲伤都是一缕光。”
-- preface
——题记
Acedia feeling
绝望之感
Liu Shisan is born in cloud Bian Xiaozhen, depend on each other with exclusive family member grandmother, it is the exclusive heir of buffet. In one's childhood, his saw with one's own eyes looks at a mother to abandon he, was brought up, exercise is little aed string of 1000 cash to await, wait not to come also as before sad, again a bit bigger, he spelled life ground to read want university of pass an entrance examination, read a book a little while for how every night, can smoke oneself into big swollen face, however as before disappointing, flounder several companies, immerse oneself in hardworking several night, become a full member without the success as before however... it is the closest grandmother, these he never also speaks of. Face these, he does not have the sense with strong what, it is sad only, he just knows later, this is the despair of have no alternative.
刘十三出生在云边小镇，与唯一的亲人外婆相依为命，是小卖部的唯一继承人。小时候，他亲眼看着母亲抛弃他，长大了，习小贯了等待，等不来也依旧难过，再大一点，他拼了命地读书要考取大学，每晚为了多读一会书，会把自己抽成大肿脸，却依旧差劲，辗转好几个公司，埋头苦干好几个夜晚，却依旧没有成功转正……就算是最亲近的外婆，这些他也从未说起。面对这些，他没有什么强烈的感觉，只是难过，后来他才知道，这是无可奈何的绝望。来源 wwW.ZUowEnbA.nET
Kiss the feeling of affection
亲情之感
Liu Shisan goes attending a college overnight, the grandmother on the sly that does not have money to buy kerosene filled in in the boot toward Liu Shisan 500 money, the Liu Shisan that does not have money to take a car put 500 money by pillow of cheerful cheerful past grandmother; In that paragraph of time that makes a fight with cancer, grandmother is bearing pang to make cake for Liu Shisan, give him encouragement; In that Spring Festival that grandmother dies, liu Shisan is risking blizzard to press secretly consuetudinary hanged the comes home then lamp in the summit for grandmother...
刘十三去上大学前夜，没钱买煤油的外婆偷偷地往刘十三的行李箱里塞了500块钱，没钱坐车的刘十三愉愉往外婆枕头底放了500块钱；在那段与癌症作斗争的时间里，外婆忍着剧痛为刘十三做糕点，给他鼓舞；在外婆去世的那个春节，刘十三偷偷冒着暴风雪按习俗为外婆挂上了在山顶的那回家的灯……
The feeling of the hope
希望之感
The Cheng Shuang that contracts heavy disease as a child lived to be to be brought up, crossed oneself to want had life, ball ball got the satchel that long for day and night, went up to learn; Although Liu Shisan did not finish those 1001 to promote, but he or success became a full member; The grandma frying a meal that cold-shoulders Liu San offerred an egg that brings the pork freely to fry a meal for Liu Shisan, liu Shisan gave the old grandma with bad eye to buy a bulb with last cash...
从小患重病的程霜活到了长大，过了自己想要拥有的生活，球球得到了梦寐以求的书包，上了学；刘十三虽然没有完成那一千零一份推销，但他还是成功转正了；嫌弃刘三的炒饭奶奶为刘十三免费提供了一份带肉的蛋炒饭，刘十三用最后的钱给眼睛不好的老奶奶买了一排灯泡……
Acedia, kiss affection, the hope becomes a line repeatedly, it is Liu Shisan's life, also be my story. When reading this book, my life removes rise and fall to fall like these 3 words. It is sad because of irritated worry above all, daylong not happy. It is fretful because of a few small trivial issues next, ongoing meaning also cannot be found. Finally is complete despair, no matter be important matter bagatelle, meddlesome evildoing, want a bit bad sign only, I am met not happy, the meeting is sensitive. But I did not accumulate ecstasy to watch in that way like Liu Shisan, did not accept the close feeling that environment place gives and hope. All encouragement become pressure, despair replaced a hope, all good things leave me and go. Resemble the movie " if sound does not remember " in be said such! Such now remove saying, it is some hyperbole in the main adulterate, but at that time also is really so think.
绝望，亲情，希望连成一条线，是刘十三的人生，也是我的故事。在看这本书时，我的生活就像这三个词一样起起落落。首先是因为烦心事而伤心，一整天都不开心。然后是因为一些小的琐碎的事而烦燥，一点前进的意义也找不到。最后是彻底绝望，不管是大事小事，好事坏事，只要有点坏的兆头，我就会不开心，会敏感。但是我没有像刘十三那样积极乐观，没有接受外界所给予的亲情与希望。所有的鼓励都变成压力，绝望代替了希望，一切美好的东西都离我而去。就像电影《如果声音不记得》中所说这样吧！现在这样说起，大抵是有些夸张掺假了，但当时也确实是这么认为的。
Division of a psychology says, they never are to give others power, guide themselves to give his power however. All close affection and hope became an ingredient added to enhance the efficacy of a dose of medicine, and the bases that that resembles me what live hard like true Liu Shisan just is this pair of medicine, perhaps be that only portion it is good that I think to was not arranged all the time take notes well in order to arrange early however, perhaps be only everyday the last those who black out is stubborn, perhaps be much only for a long time before if one when be written on the notebook is encouraged, perhaps be only...
有一位心理师说，他们从不是给予别人力量，而是引导他们自己给予自己力量。所有亲情与希望成了药引子，而那个像真正的刘十三一样努力地生活的我才是这副药的主要成分，也许只是那份我一直以为没有整理好却早以整理好的笔记，也许只是每天最后一个关灯的倔强，也许只是多久之前写在本子上的一句鼓励的话，也许只是……
Hope and sadness, it is a light, can enlighten after all you.
希望和悲伤，都是一缕光，终究都会照亮你。