I plan to go to a school applying for position of a teacher today.
今天我打算去一所学校应聘一个教师职位。
I rose big early, when walking along school gate mouth, see 4 rubric hang ” of “ animal school on board, of askew, grave not at all. Hear, this school although its appearance not raise, but extremely rich however actual strength, extremely high proportion of students entering a schools of a higher grade lets its reputation big a confusion of voices, the outstanding person with ability that it develops also flows to each post. I moved toward office of educational administration head directly, sit inside to wait at the same time, check oneself resume at the same time.
我起了个大早，走到校门口时，看到“动物学校”四个红字挂在木板上，歪歪扭扭的，一点也不庄重。听说，这所学校虽然其貌不扬，但却极富实力，极高的升学率让它声名大噪，它培养的优秀人才也流向各个岗位。我径直走向了教务主任办公室，坐在里面一边等候，一边检查自己的简历。
8 o'clock sharp, the door of the office is pushed. “ good morning! ” my Wen Sheng looks, the gent with a very straight business suit stands in the doorway, the heart thinks this is educational administration director certainly, say hello to to him.
八点整，办公室的门被推开了。“早上好！”我闻声望去，一位西装笔挺的绅士站在门口，心想这位一定是教务主任了，便向他问好。
My fix eyes on looks, is this wearing the Pekinese of business suit only just about? This dog head leaves my watch sb go away to desk from the back, subsequently it very quickly pop-up office chair, crouch above. Annatto table holds off it whole body, show a round head only.
我定睛一看，这不正是一只穿着西装的哈巴狗吗？我目送这位狗主任走到办公桌后面，随后它一跃跳上办公椅，蹲在上面。红木桌子挡住它整个身子，只露出一个圆溜溜的头。
“ hello, I will apply for, ” I take the lead in self introduction rises, “ is written as the place in resume, I am ……” of physical major graduation
“您好，我是来应聘的，”我率先自我介绍起来，“如同简历中所写，我是物理专业毕业……”
“ stops! It interrupts ” I, “ is in our so outstanding school, judge the standard of a teacher is not record of formal schooling. It extends ” the tongue licks nose, continue say: “ becomes a teacher here, you should learn to operate above all outside those machines. ”
“停！”它打断我，“在我们这样优秀的学校，评判一个老师的标准不是学历。”它伸出舌头舔了舔鼻子，继续说道：“在这里当老师，你首先要学会操作外面那些机器。”
“ machine? ” I am to indissoluble completely.
“机器？”我满是不解。
It says: “ our school, recruit animal student only. Our student graduation arrived socially, professional ability is very strong. ” its halt, say: Do you know “ what is the life condition with the most perfect composition? ”
它说：“我们学校，只招收动物学生。我们的学生毕业到了社会上，业务能力是很强的。”它停顿了一下，说：“你知道作文最完美的生命状态是什么吗？”
I shake my head.
我摇头。
“ is an egg! ” its respecting is excited place, raise smallish claw to keep rap desktop: The appearance of “ egg is close to a circle most, motion of OK and free land rolls, at the same time it has hard case again, fight blow force is very powerful. Through us tens of year consider to discover, the appearance of the egg is same, ugly without the United States black and white cent, can let everybody wear blinkers to see the other side no longer. ”
“是蛋！”它说到激动处，举起短小的爪子不停地拍击桌面：“蛋的形状最接近圆形，可以自由地运动翻滚，同时它又有坚硬的外壳，抗打击力十分强。经过我们数十年的研究发现，蛋的外形一样，没有美丑黑白之分，可以让大家不再戴有色眼镜看对方。”
How can “ become an egg then? ” I continue modest ask for advice.
“那如何能变成蛋呢？”我继续虚心求教。
“ it points to the machine outside the window with claw, say: The action of these “ machines changes various animals into the egg namely, want to be read in our school only, learn this machine, can become when graduation brush brushed egg together. ”
“它用爪子指了指窗外的机器，说：“这些机器的作用就是把各种各样的动物转化成蛋，只要在我们学校就读，体验这个机器，毕业时都能变成齐刷刷的蛋。”
“ but originally some animals can fly, some can swim, is this can you satisfy diversification requirement more?
“可是原本有的动物能飞，有的能游，这不是更能满足多样化需求吗？
“ is wrong, youth. Now society, the most welcome is egg talent. Watch the proportion of students entering a schools of a higher grade of our school, you knew, everybody still likes so prim, the egg that batch produces. ”
“错了，年轻人。现在社会，最受欢迎的就是蛋型人才。看看我们学校的升学率，你就知道了，大家还是喜欢这样规规矩矩，批量生产的蛋。”
Saying, the machine outside the window rumbles blare.
正说着，窗外的机器轰隆一声巨响。
“ looks quickly! We are new egg graduate success goes heat. ” dog head introduces enthusiasticly to me.
“快看！我们新一届的蛋型毕业生成功出炉了。”狗主任热情地给我介绍。
I look to the window outside, each white and smooth egg is discharging a team to roll to school gate mouth in the past, the official of invite applications for a job of each big preeminent company is taking small basket to stand in school gate mouth to waiting to hold an egg.
我望向窗外，一个个洁白光滑的蛋正排着队向校门口翻滚过去，各大优秀公司的招聘官正拿着筐子站在校门口等着装蛋。
I do not think “ apply for a teacher. I see ” to dog head, say: I also think “ to be read into your school, be no good all right? ”
“我不想应聘老师了。”我看向狗主任，说：“我也想进你们学校就读，行不行？”(文/王思奇)