Do not know when, I opened an eye, him discovery became a rubber.
不知何时，我睁开了眼，发现自己变成了一块橡皮。
Outside looking at a window, I envisage birdie to hover euqally footloosely; I envisage Bai Yun to wave comfortably to wave leisurely euqally; I envisage a bee to collect sweet …… euqally but I am a rubber can be used by small host only only.
望着窗外，我想像小鸟一样自由自在地翱翔；我想像白云一样悠闲自在地飘来飘去；我想像蜜蜂一样采蜜……但我只是一块橡皮只能被小主人使用。
That day, I am slow-witted outside looking at a window slow-wittedly, a sound surrounds beside me. I ask at once: Who is “ ? ”“ is fastened urgent, , I am pencil, I am very vexed now. ”“ why? I ask ” at once. “ cannot be brushed because of cold-shouldering me to be able to write only for host. Such before, do not have a thing, you keep wrongly written character after I help you, ? Not depress. Say of pencil of ”“ hum ” . We became evermore not to have the friend that the word does not say, each other side helps each other. When keeping wrongly written character every time, want me to be in what ballet handwriting jumps a few times to disappear on the word to get only into thin air.
那天，我呆呆地望着窗外，一个声音环绕在我身边。我连忙问：“是谁？”“别急，，我是铅笔，我现在很烦恼。”“为什么？”我连忙问。“因为主人嫌弃我只能写字不能擦。原来如此，没事，以后你写错字了我就帮你，好吗？别灰心丧气了。”“嗯”铅笔说道。从此以后我们成了无话不说的朋友，互帮互助。每当写错字时，只要我在字上跳几下芭蕾字迹便消失的得无影无踪了。
That is flashy, I feel quite good also when a rubber, rubber also has very big effect.
那一瞬间，我觉得当一块橡皮也挺好的，橡皮也有很大的作用。
I also knew a few friends here, straightedge of ”—— of “ strip general; Go up battlefield, want to carry a gun; Go to school school, the pen is one lever gun; We are euqally important to host, lack what kind of to be no good. When our host attends class, write be about to use “ gun ” , be about to send when clerical error word on I, be about to use ” of “ strip general when draw. We became very good friend, it is a family simply, I pass very cozily to also suit here.
我也在这儿结识到了几位朋友，“长条将军”——直尺；上战场，要带枪；上学校，笔就是一杆枪；我们对主人来说都一样重要，缺少哪样都不行。我们的主人上课时写字就要用上“枪”了，写错字时就要派上我了，画图时就要用上“长条将军”了。我们都成为了很好的朋友，简直就是一家人，我在这儿过得很舒适也适应啦。
Outside looking at a window again when me when, thinking: Become actually a rubber is quite good also.
当我再次望着窗外时，想着：其实当块橡皮也挺好的。
The article of young writer is very vivid and interesting, leave especially piece with coda bring out the theme, also accomplished around echo, consecution sex and logic are very strong, through introducing the clue of the article with the dialog of pencil, many a little bit can be in actually from the back, pencil and rubber lie in pencil case to look at sky together in the evening, the handwriting that discusses small host together occasionally waits content a moment, in can joining an article, go, young writer still can join more associating with imagination, of course, young writer's nifty and lively style of writing contains humorous and humor colour, let whole article be full of Tong Zhen, the hope can continue to maintain such writing style and enthusiasm, continue to cheer.
小作者的文章非常生动有趣，尤其是开篇和结尾都点题了，也做到了前后呼应，条理性和逻辑性非常强，通过和铅笔的对话引入了文章的情节，其实可以在后面多一点，铅笔和橡皮晚上一起躺在铅笔盒里看着星空，有时候一起讨论小主人的字迹等等内容，都可以加入到文章中去，小作者还可以加入更多的联想和想象力，当然，小作者俏皮活泼的文风带有幽默风趣的色彩，让整个文章都充满了童真，希望可以继续保持这样的写作风格和热情，继续加油。