" nonviolent communicate " this book is the United States' famous Marshall. Luxembourg doctor place is written, he is passed use magical and mild nonviolent communication kind will let people obtain love, harmony and happiness, I am shared below read result.
《非暴力沟通》这本书是美国著名的马歇尔。卢森堡博士所著，他通过采用神奇而又平和的非暴力沟通方式来让人们获得爱、和谐与幸福，下面我来分享一下读书心得。
1. is nonviolent communicate main concentration to be in 4 respects: Observation, expression observes result, him expression experience, inform specific request. Wanted result often was not obtained if in a lot of moment we say, because our expressive way is wrong,10 have 89 is. If you increase your subjective judgement and sentiment from inside inchoate talk, the other side is not willing probably to spread out heart door leaf to be able to produce inimical psychology even to you. Very important learned divisional comment and observation namely.
1.非暴力沟通主要集中在四个方面：观察、表达观察结果、表达自己的感受、告知具体的请求。在很多时候我们说的话往往没有取得想要的结果，十有八九是因为我们的表达方式不对。如果你从刚开始的谈话中就就加上自己的主观判断与情绪，对方很可能不愿意对你展开心扉甚至会产生抵触心理。很重要的一点就是学会区分评论和观察。
2. criticism often was implied expect. Expressed our not contented need actually to the criticism of other. If we pass criticism to come pretend, win argue one's case probably or strike back. If we speak need directly, gain actively response more possibly. Feel e.g. me you are very poor hope with me you try hard to ameliorate brought result is different. The society expresses his need directly, is not to consider the left and right sides he.
2.批评往往暗含了期待。对他人的批评实际上表达了我们未满足的需要。如果我们通过批评来提出主张，很可能获得申辩或反击。如果我们直接说出需要，比较可能获得积极地回应。比如说我觉得你很差和我希望你努力变好带来的效果就是不一样。学会直接表达自己的需要，而不是顾左右而言他。
3. learns to listen attentively to. Put down already some idea and judgement, experience the other side absorbedly. Before comfort other or offerring, whether do they need see that first.
3.学会倾听。放下已有的想法和判断，全神贯注地体会对方。在安慰他人或提议前，先看看那是否是他们需要的。
4. is before an angry person, do not cross ”“ with “ forever but ”“ can be ” this kind word.
4.在一个生气的人面前，永远不要用“不过”“但是”“可是”这类的词。
What 5. accepts him is faulty. Error announces our limitation, guide us to grow. Avoid to say “ to oneself as far as possible should ” , say “ to the thing that has produced should ” can make him more self-condemned only. Contrary, we should be dedicated got at oneself need what kind of contented, such compositions we are likely be benefited from inside ego evaluation, obtain the 2nd e.g. the match, a lot of people can say my “ should ” tries hard again, blame him laches, but if can from the 2nd in find the place that satisfies oneself, won't generate self-condemned sentiment, total somebody wants the 2nd, result already very pretty good, it is good to fall to try hard again.
5.接受自己的不完美。失误揭示我们的局限性，并引导我们成长。尽量避免对自己说“应该”，对已经发生的事情说“应该”只会使自己更加自责。相反，我们应该专注于自己的需要得到了怎样的满足，这样我们就可能从自我评价中受益，比如说比赛获得第二名，很多人都会说我“应该”再努力，都怪自己懈怠了，但是如果能从第二名中找到满足自己的点，就不会产生自责的情绪，总有人要第二名，结果已经很不错了，下回再努力就好了。
Because our thinking means is caused,6. is actually angrily, its core is the need that has not satisfy, same a thing, different need can bring about different feeling. The criticises the behavior that is others does not accord with him need to other. What was our angry reason doing at others, and depend on us how look upon the other side and its behavior.
6.愤怒其实是由于我们的思维方式造成的，它的核心就是尚未满足的需要，同一件事情，不同的需要会导致不同的感受。对他人的指责就是别人的行为不符合自己的需要。我们生气的原因不在于别人做了什么，而在于我们如何看待对方及其行为。
7. often conveys anger correctly to have 4 move: ① stops, besides breath, whats are done. ② thinks is what idea makes we got angry. The need ④ that ③ experiences him expresses the need that experience and still did not satisfy. Actually we think, we get angry even if want to reach oneself goal, life is otherwise dry.
7.往往正确表达愤怒有四个步骤：①停下来，除了呼吸，什么也不做。②想一想是什么想法使我们生气了。③体会自己的需要④表达感受和尚未满足的需要。其实我们想一想，我们生气就是想要达成自己的目的，不然生气干嘛。
I return estreat when read a few ana that I prefer, share with everybody:
我在读书的时候还摘抄了一些我比较喜欢的语录，跟大家分享一下：
1. for happiness, how must see “ others this problem puts my ” aside.
1.为了幸福，必须把“别人怎么看我”这个问题放在一边。
2. if somebody listens attentively to you, incorrect you judge a head to talk sufficient, do not replace your fear, also do not want to change you, how has been this done not have. … every time we get people listen attentively to and understand, I can view the world with new vision, continue to advance.
2.如果有人倾听你，不对你评头论足，不替你担惊受怕，也不想改变你，这多么没好啊。…每当我们得到人们的倾听和理解，我就可以用新的眼光看世界，并继续前进。
Thing of a worthwhile does 3. not up to much also is worthiness.
3.一件值得做的事情做得不怎么样也是值得的。
This book suits teacher and parents to read, when the piquant make trouble that faces dot, how to control mood reason to communicate, this needs us to learn slowly, also suit to handle human relation.
这本书适合老师和父母阅读，在面对小孩子的调皮捣蛋时，如何控制情绪理性沟通，这需要我们慢慢地学习，也适合处理人际关系。(文/钱光瑞)