Yan Zhi of educationist of our country ancient time pushs in " Mu Xian " middle finger goes out: “ and charitable person are resided, if enter the room of irises and orchids, long and from fragrant also; With evil person house, if enter the shop of abalone, long and from smelly also. ” this enlightenment we: Hand in friend to want discreet, want to choose somewhat.
我国古代教育家颜之推在《慕贤》中指出：“与善人居，如入芝兰之室，久而自芳也；与恶人居，如入鲍鱼之肆，久而自臭也。”这启示我们：交友要慎重，要有所选择。
" in say · Wei Xiang " in such saying have a word: “ gentleman first choose is handed in after that, lilliputian is handed in first after that choose. Care of reason gentleman few, lilliputian is complained more. ” looks so, it is very important really to make friend cautiously. It is premise cautiously, what kind of friend should we make then?
《中说·魏相》中有一句话是这样说的：“君子先择而后交，小人先交而后择。故君子寡忧，小人多怨。”如此看来，慎重交友的确很重要。慎重是前提，那我们该交什么样的朋友呢？
Make the friend of genuine intimate. True friend can let your all the time do not have a kind of good feeling. He likes himself, like you. He is willing to communicate his directest and true idea you, also can use heart listen respectfully each your word. He handles each thing seriously, let you feel you are taken seriously, be cherished. Sincerity is a foundation, and intimate is the sublimate on affection. Grand of the first month of Tang Dynasty poet has said like that: “ is about to take cry musical instrument is played, hate not bosom friend is admired. ” hands in friend to want to make the friend of intimate, one understands him truly, know oneself friend. He can build cheerful and relaxed atmosphere to your life, let you be understood, be admired, be expected. After you drop into abyss, he still can save atone for from the heart you. The highest state of this kind of friendship is “ meets situation is difficult already, not language is knowable heart. ”
交真诚知心之友。真诚的朋友会让你无时无刻不拥有一种美好的情感。他悦纳自己，悦纳你。他愿意将自己最直接真实的想法传达给你，也会用心聆听你的每一句话。他认真对待每一件事物，让你感到自己被重视、被珍惜。真诚是基础，而知心是情感上的升华。唐代诗人孟浩然说过：“欲取鸣琴弹，恨不知音赏。”交友要交知心之友，一个真正了解自己，懂得自己的朋友。他会给你的生活营造愉悦轻松的氛围，让你被理解、被欣赏、被期待。在你跌入万丈深渊后，他仍然能够从心灵上救赎你。这种友谊的最高境界是“相见情已深，未语可知心。”
Make the friend of have a common goal. " the analects of confucius " in say: “ method is different, do not be seek. ” friend, be progress together with oneself, the person that grows together. ” of “ have a common goal must have same profession, do same thing, if two people go up from each other body the thing with outstanding derive, have the heart of identical active enterprising, also be have a common goal. The friendship of Marx and Engels is best example.
交志同道合之友。《论语》中说：“道不同，不相为谋。”朋友，是与自己一起进步，一起成长的人。“志同道合”并非要拥有同样的职业，做相同的事，若两人从彼此身上汲取优秀的东西，有相同的积极进取的心，亦是志同道合。马克思与恩格斯的友谊便是最好的典范。
Marx and Engels learn be used to, leader jointly international labour movement, make up write magazine and the file that draft. They were drafted jointly famous " the Communist Party is enunciative " . They worked 40 years together, founded jointly great Marxism, they built great friendship in the fight that achieves common goal.
马克思与恩格斯共同学习、领导国际工人运动、编撰杂志和起草文件。他们共同起草了著名的《共产党宣言》。他们在一起工作了40年，共同创立了伟大的马克思主义，他们在实现共同目标的斗争中建立了伟大的友谊。
The great friendship of Engels and Marx, for the mankind tree composition established brilliant model. The great friendship of these two great people tells world: Build the friendship on common belief and pursuit foundation, it is remain fresh forever, of indestructible. This is the friend of a pair of have a common goal.
恩格斯和马克思的崇高友谊，为人类树作文立了光辉的模范。这两位伟人的伟大友谊告诉世人：建立在共同信仰和追求基础之上的友谊，是万古长青，牢不可破的。这便是一对志同道合的朋友。
Make sensible and true friend. Gorky says: The very sensible friendship with true “ is the invaluable asset with the best life. ” hands in the friend of character happiness to be able to bring cheerful feeling to us, such friendship lets us get drunk among them. Can praise make a person paralytic, criticism makes a person sober. The friend is not the person that uses him suit. Make friend lens of one side of seem “ try to win sb's favor, those who surpass analogy of 100 gold ” in that way: The friend resembles is one side mirror, on one hand experience of the derive in their speech, pass them to correct defect to he points out wrongly on the other hand, achievement is better oneself. The story of Tang Taizong and Wei Zheng was showing this sense.
交理智真实之友。高尔基说：“真实的十分理智的友谊是人生最美好的无价之宝。”交品质美好的朋友会给我们带来愉悦的感受，这样的友谊让我们沉醉其中。可赞美使人麻痹，批评使人清醒。朋友不是用来取悦自己的人。交朋友好似“买好一面镜，胜过百黄金”比喻的那样：朋友就像是一面镜子，一方面他们的话语中汲取经验，另一方面通过他们对自己错误的指出改正缺点，成就更好的自己。唐太宗与魏征的故事正说明了这个道理。
Li Shimin has said: It is lens with copper, can clothes and hat, with factitious ancient bronze mirror, can bright gain and loss. What this person says is Wei Zheng. During chastity is watched, though Tang Taizong is judicious, processing country has, the country opens prosperity, dan Weizheng often spills cold water ” to Tang Taizong “ , make Tang Taizong always maintains sober reason, wei Zheng regards accept of a speak bluntly as the chancellery of expostulate with, treat for what chastity watchs, lay next foundations, for the life consider of whole country and common people. He was made in the prosperity of whole Tang Chao very big lay a foundation action.
李世民说过：以铜为镜，可以正衣冠，以人为鉴，可以明得失。这个人说的就是魏征。贞观期间，虽说唐太宗贤明，治理国家有道，国家开放繁荣，但魏征经常给唐太宗“泼凉水”，使唐太宗时刻保持清醒理智，魏征作为一个直言纳谏的大臣，为贞观之治，打下基础，为整个国家以及老百姓的生活着想。他在整个唐朝的繁荣作出了很大的奠基作用。
Making a good friend is on one hand, but also should understand the strategy that makes friend at the same time. Making friend is an art, the requirement is full of enthusiasm already, have sense of property extremely again; Already true level dew, not without reservation; Get along intimately already, correctitude.
交到好友是一方面，但同时也要懂得交友的策略。交友是一门艺术，要求既满怀热情，又极有分寸；既真诚坦露，又不无含蓄；既亲密相处，又有礼有节。
· Ji Bailun says Kalaier: “ your friend is the need that will respond to you, he is you is rural, you sow with love, with the heart harvest that be thankful, he is your table and wall lamp, when starving because of you, go looking for him, it is again beg quiet search him. ”
卡莱尔·纪伯伦说：“你的朋友是来回应你的需要的，他是你的田园，你以爱心播种，以感恩的心收成，他是你的餐桌和壁灯，因为你饥饿时去找他，又为求安宁寻他。”
Associate with is not virtuous person, hard to avoid loves to give birth to abhor. Make friend with the person of outstanding happiness, there is a man of noble character inside natural door, the gentleman outside the door comes. We we make friend should discreet, want to have a choice. “ and charitable person reside ” , as time passes, our life also is met dense fragrance.
结交非贤者，难免爱生憎。与优秀美好的人交朋友，自然门内有君子，门外君子至。我们我们交朋友要慎重，要有选择。“与善人居”，久而久之，我们的生活也会氤氲着芬芳。(文/张晨)